Chapter one.
People think love is just a feeling in your stomach, like if thousand of little animals with tiny and fragile wings were inside you, pising you off sometimes... Other people think love is synonymous of pain, sorrow and those things.
But for me, there weren't those winged things and there was no pain, or anything people say it's love. no way...
It started almost a year ago, I was reading at the park one of my favorites novels. I wasn't used to read at home, I needed noise, the birds, the kids playing soccer and their parents screaming their lungs out cheering their boys to kick the ball. I needed the polluted fresh air from outside instead of the air conditioner of my house, so hot inside that the damn air should be like... always, If you really wanted to be alive in there from more than 5 seconds, yeah I paid a big bill of electricity.
And there he was, watching the boys play but not screaming at all, I guess he was one of those parents who thinks cheering and proving love is a gay thing, I judged him until his eyes found mine. Like every normal person I turn my face to my book as quickly as I could but He saw me and laughed.
A week after, in my day off I usually used to read I went to the same park, I sit in the same place and grabbed my book into that page I left a birthday card of my last twenties year.
Suddenly I heard some voices behind me and there he was with some woman really ... ugly for him, I stared at them for God knows how many time until he turned at me once again and I return into my book... once again he caught me, not judging him this time but that woman of his. They stood in the same place he was last week and watched the game. I thought they were kidnappers for a second before falling into the drama of my book. It happened every week, every day off, every kids soccer game and every time he caught me looking at his way, with the same woman.
I thought the time would be so close, so I had prepared some words for the time he'd come over and facing the crazy judger-woman of the book, "So you might think I was looking at you, but I was looking at the giant tree behind you, It gets me inspired to... keep on reading. I'm not a kidnapper and you?" He didn't come over. Until that day he was alone.
30-enero-2009
Love has your name written in my heart,
your skin has carved your essence in mine.
There's nothing more precious than you,
not even the sun rising up the sky
everytime we open our eyes.
19-enero-2009
Soy lo que quieres ver
soy de lo que te escondes.
Soy una sonrisa al cielo,
soy una lagrima cayendo al suelo.
Soy un recuerdo, talvéz fui indesición.
Lo cierto es que terminé siendo una paradoja.
y acabaré siendo algo mucho peor.
11-noviembre-2008
Ven.
Vuelve y has que mi sol brille mas que en toda la vida.
Regresa para que de nuevo me tiemblen las rodillas.
Ven, vuelve, regresa.
Dime.
Cuentame con la mirada lo que en verdad piensas
no escondas tus sentimientos, he visto de todo.
No tengas miedo a que no lo entienda.
Dime, cuentame y no tengas miedo.
Suenia.
Suenia a recorrer esos callejones tomados de la mano de nuevo.
Cierra tus ojos y deja que la imaginacion te traiga de nuevo a mi.
Ven, vuelve, regresa.
Ven, vuelve, regresa. (y así rectifico que te extraño más de lo que pensaba.)
25-julio-2008
No hay manera de explicar la forma tan loca de amarte
porque jamás nadie amo ni amará como yo te amo a ti
¿Qué es el amar? No es querer, puede ser morir y mejor si es vivir. ¿Qué es vivir? Es amar.
Yo vivo y muero por amarte y porque me ames, este amor inagotable, nuestro amor inalcanzable.
No hay manera de explicar la forma tan loca de amarte...
solo te amo porque fui hecha para amarte mas allá del fin de mis días, porque el amor no muere, vive
02-noviembre-2008
Can you see those last sunshines?
Like they were calling the night to fall
Im there with you... holding your hand
we know what its about to come..
a sky full of stars with a bright moon
but what if is the last night of our lives?
would I have the guts that an end takes?
uld i have the guts to leave everything i know..
evrything i love everything i enjoyed...
I dont know...
I dont know if I should say goodbye to the bright moon
i dont know if I should kiss you for the one last time
knowing that there are not reasons at all to say goodbye
by your side it will be not end at all.
24-marzo-2008
Te acuerdas cuando me dijiste que te veria morir y podia reirme de ti?
Recuerdas cuando te rogue por un poco de piedad ante mis ojos..?
Recuerdas cuando te mostre aquel escrito? Que me dijiste?
"Me quede sin palabras..", porque tardaste dos minutos en responderme
a mi me parecian horas...
Dos minutos ... ahora ya son meses.. meses de no saber que tanto hacesm tus aventuras, meses sin que me digas "Estoy muy cansado", meses sin sonrojarme al verte, meses sin sonreir cuando me descrubres mirandote profundamente, meses sin ver esos hermoso ojos, meses sin que me digas que sigo en tu corazon, aun sabiendo que es en parte otra de tus mentiras, me importara tan poco que nisiquiera lo pensare...
Te amo demaciado... Te amo por infinidad de palabras, Te amo sin que tu te des cuenta, Te amo despues de todo lo que ha pasado, todo lo que nos hemos fallado, todo lo que nos hemos sincerizado...todo lo lejos que seguiremos estando.
17-octubre-2007
it will be easier, without you.
if just for a second you could fade away from my mind...
believe me, it would be so much easier.
You know me, im the kind of girl who everyone knows by just one look.
you know me, I'd give everything up for you, I gave everything up... for what?
'cause, sadly, you're not here for my fault.
Tonight, as every night.. it's all about missing you honey.
